Arienai no Koto wa Arienai desu!

"...well, it's not like I have not thought of all these possibilities yet. I have long figuring the possibilities out and regard them as hints, but I really do not want to admit that all of these are possible. I mean, what if I am wrong and I hoped too much? Then again, what I'm doing now was like that once again... Doubting all the chances and fear to make a move on her...

I do notice the so-called hints: the moments she said that she likes me - but isn't that as a student to a teacher? I admit no one has said that to me before except for my ex, but that's because she was my girlfriend... but Her... She's different. Hmmm. Anyway, I joked and said that it was "AWKWARD!" and tell her to not say that in front of my ex aaaand told her not to say that again.

I can't tell her I actually liked that, right?

And she always told me that I think too much when I pressed some issues... hmmm.

Wait... could it be...?

Nah. No way no way.

See? This is what I always do whenever I thought of the hints, then dismiss them because it's impossible... well, who would like such a childish person like I am? And I always loved to annoy people for fun. How can such a person be likeable... right?

Well, there was also this very interesting question she asked, that "under what circumstances or situation will you hate me or dislike me". Another first time here - first time someone asked me that question. I've never thought of it, and I gave a very good answer based on my opinion. I didn't think that much because I somehow guessed that she has some other problem that requires my opinion or my view - well, she's always this kind of person who gets insecure about how the others will think of herself. So... yeah.

While the others said that it's a strong hint, I... I don't really think so.

Well, it's because they don't know her long enough, I guess...?

Aaaand she has a first love with a guy - she's god-damned straight dammit. (Though my friend has a first love with a girl but ends up being Yaoi... nonono, that's different. Different.) She has no exposure to any Yuri and Yaoi friends before and coming to this big city this is her first time knowing such people - the only ones, actually. See how pure she is? There is in no hell that she's gonna fall for a person like me, while I'm a super pervert too (And I'm proud of it dahurhurhur~) so no way!

But then my Yaoi friend told me that she does likes me... (By using Subaru and Teana as substitute because she's at that scene as well) But I'm not sure if he's just purely teasing, or it's the truth...

Well, I guess he misunderstood something or he was just referring to the September thingy. Yeap. Let it be that way.

However, there was always one thing that I'm always curious of: Why she wouldn't upload the pictures that I look good in it? I mean, I felt that I really, really, really look good in those pictures - like, sexier. I understand if she doesn't want to upload her own pictures, but... what about mine? I'm pretty sure other than that sucky 2 or 3 pictures online, there's more in her phone... hmmm.

Speaking of the pictures, we were kind of playing during that day when she took my "once in the blue moon" me in "elegant dress" picture, and she was laughing through the whole night (I wonder why she's so excited in taking my pictures in dress... I guess she really find it amusing and interesting - to tease me, maybe - since I never wore things like this before and it's really *coughniceeventhoughIdon'twanttoadmititcough*) so I threatened her if she continued to laugh I would grope her breast... and she NEVER stopped laughing - and so I did, as a warning, but she never stopped laughing and she ran - and we started to meet people so to save face (for the both of us maybe) I stopped... Just because there's people around.

But she never stopped laughing until she gets on the car.

WHAT IS THIS DAMMIT.

Is it that hilarious to watch me in dress, or the fact that she... wants me to... what. Nonono, I guess she overheard that part and just ran away because she's fooling around with me. Yeah. That's it.

But... that morning surprising exclamation the other day... I forgot what was the conversation, but she said something about "What, you want me to grope breast?!" and it was the most shocking thing for the whole day - because I never implied anything of such (well, I think we're massaging that time so...) 

...and that's when the whole "Subaru and Teana" topic came later in the day.

There was also this other thing: she lets me hug her! Actually, more like, she hugs me! I mean, for someone that doesn't hug people often... but come to think about it, she's all tensed up - mentally (the exams are near, you see?), so maybe she just need some motherly love (but how am I motherly?! This is so weird)...

...ugh.

The more I think about it, it doesn't make sense to me.

Then again I guess she just treat me as a very close friend... I mean, normally girls do that to their friends too, right? (Even though I'm not that kind of clingy and touchy person... even patting people's head has been a recent thing. And hugging people? That's because of the cosplayers - I don't normally do that, since it's kind of awkward for me to do such things after all.) Well, seeing the norm around here, I guess she really just treat me as a very very very close friend. Yeah...

Meh. I should stop thinking about all of these...

After all, it's impossible for me to get such a good girl. Hahahahahaha~"

~ "Arienai no Koto wa Arienai desu!" by ARCYM