"KOKO WA DOKO DA?!?!?!?!?"
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"MEZAMETA KONO NANKAHEN NO SEKAI HE~"
[Insert Animation]
Nantoka Hen no Monogatari [The Tale of Somewhat-Weird / 何とか変の物語 / 有点奇怪的物语 ] 2015
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[Insert Chapter]
Part One: The Strange but Familiar World
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Trees... Trees... More trees... then there's flowers and bushes... It seemed to be humid over there. Hmm...
"From this, I conclude... I'M IN A TROPICAL JUNGLE!" I punch my fist to the air for my conclusion, before I swap it down. "JANEEN DA!"
Ok, I'm self-boke and self-tsukkomi-ing. What the...
"Seriously, where am I? How did I get here?"
Ah yes. I remembered. I was in front of my computer - as usual - doing my own stuffs reading mangas and checking my Facebooks and SUDDENLY! There's this mail thing that I plan to delete buuuuuut I clicked on the wrong space aaaaand...
"KOKO NI KITTA!!!!!!!"
I made a dramatic pose once again, but instantly I dropped down and wanted to knock my head to the ground... but it's dirty, so I didn't do it. "I'm not making any sense... My memories don't make sense. So what, did I got sucked by the computer?" Suddenly, I stood up. "Masaka, I'm in the Digital World?!" I looked around, but there's no signs of Digimon-lookalike.
Instead...
"Ah, I see you've awakened, my dear heroine."
WOAH! I was so shocked. Not just there's someone aside from myself, but... it's a GODDAMN FAIRY!??!?!? She seemed pretty familiar for a fairy... but that's not just that.
She called me dear whaaa?
"Uh... wha?" I blinked, trying to grasp the reality of the situation. I looked around for another possible candidate for 'heroine', but it seemed that there's only... "Me?"
"I know you must have a lot of questions, but I have no time, so I'll cut it short," Wait. Did you just ignored me- "You have been summoned here in order to defeat the evil boss Evangelion," Evil boss WHA...?! Evangelion WHA?!?!?! "But have no worries young heroine, your companions will aid you along your journey," My companions? W-Where? Wait. Don't tell me...
"Here is a crystal orb," With that, she shoved a crystal ball to me. Ooooooooo... Shiny shining shiniest girls be ambitious and shine--- wait. Stop that right there. Don't sing. Not time for singing.
"And this is...?" What is this crystal ball gonna do? Show me the future? Transform into my minions? Or throw at people to capture them???
"The crystal orb will lead your way towards your companions," She smiled at me - ugh, I don't like that smile... seemed to be TROUBLE! "Now, I shall take my leave. Good luck in your journey, dear heroine!"
"Huhwhat? WAIT!"
Aaaaaaaaaaand she's gone!
I blinked. Not just someone just simply VANISHED in a blink of eye, but... "You never told me how to use this thing! Hey, come back fairy! COME BAAAAAACK~~~"
Oh great.
Did you just seriously want me to throw at some people and catch some Pokemans?
"The hell..." I scratched my head as I looked at the ball... no, more like, I glared at the ball.
Ball. Gimme some answers. Ball.
"..."
You no manual kah, ball?!
"..."
Did I just have a staring contest with a crystal ball for a few minutes? Oh god.
"What, you want me to say 'crystal crystal in my hand, who's the fairest of them all?'" Of course, the crystal did not reply me. I sighed.
"The heck... AHHHH SCREW IT!!!" Furiously, I threw the ball to the ground and ready to stomp at it... but it rolled away down the mountain!
HOLY SHYET.
"Fuckfuckfuckfuck WAIT! DON'T GO AWAY! COME BAAAAACK!!!"
I have never been so horrified. My first "quest item" and I just threw it away? Nonono. It fucking ROLLED away... to save itself from being stomped.
...
Fine.
I'll retrieve it. Sigh.
= = = = = = = = = =
[3rd Person P.O.V.]
[Insert Rolling Girl or Rolling Star or any songs that has the word Rolling... oh. Rolling In The Deep.]
The ball rolled and rolled and rolled... into a small village. Then, it started to shine in bright lights, before an arrow formed and pointed towards a certain direction. A restaurant. Unfortunately, our heroine could not see the happening moment...
What was she doing now?
= = = = = = = = = =
[1st Person]
"Shitshitshitshitshit. Where did it go...? OI! Come out already! I promise I won't throw or stomp on you again ok?!" I yelled into the woods as I searched for that piece of j- I mean, my very, very, precious quest orb.
"Come on... Orb-san~ Orb-san-"
"Grrrrrr..."
"...eh?" I froze. That... that kind of sound. It...can't be. Ok, seriously, don't. Turn. Back. Rei. Be nice and steady... reach out your first step... "RUN!!!"
Yes, I ran, but I forgot to look in front and... now I'm a Rolling Girl.
Rooooolin' gaaaru~ wa itsu mademo~~~
WTF brain. Now is really not a good time to sing, y'know...? It's supposed to be the time to:
"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH~~~~~!!!!!!"
= = = = = = = = = =
"Mmmm...gh...?"
Where... am I? Am I back in my room? Is the nightmare over? Is everything just a dream? Or I'm still stuck in the Digital-whatsoever-World? Is this room... my room? Does my room even looked like this? Oh god. Where am I this time? Is this still a dream? Have I teleported somewhere?
"KHHH!!!"
THAT PAIN. I tried to get up but FUCK. I can't and it fucking HURTS. Shit shit shit. Where am I? I can't defend myself like this! Ohno ohno- and I'm COVERED IN BANDAGES?! WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
"Ah, I see you've awakened, my dear heroine."
Ooooooooookay. Deja vu, anyone?
Yes Pixie-san I'm awake so PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF I CAN'T EVEN SPEAK NOW WITH MY MOUTH BEING COVERED IN BANDAGES-
...
Oi. Are you fucking with me? What's with that smile!? OI. I'm not your fucking entertainment WHO'S FAULT YOU THINK IT IS THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENED TO ME RIGHT NOW. I JUST ROLLED DOWN LIKE THAT FREAKING BALL WHAT DO YOU THINK-
...wait.
Is this... what they called karma? Oh god...
Ok fine. It's karma. It's my own fault that I threw it and I want to stomp it and I'll never do it again because now I'm the Rolling Girl BUT STILL-
"You have just engaged in your first battle, very good!" Waitwhut, first battle WHAT?! "Now, you are finally qualified as a Warrior Heroine with a proper class," Oh great, so I WAS something like a Novice just now? And that battle is a test? Grrrrrrrreat. "Now, your class will be determined by your performance in the first battle," ...wait. What? M-My guess... It's true?! "Hmmm, it seemed that the sword is too heavy for you and you're a bit too clumsy to ascend to a swordsman class-" WOI. STOP THERE. I HAVE A SWORD?! "-but you're brilliant enough to choose to escape, even though it's your first battle. Though considered cowardly, not much beginner would choose to fight a werewolf head on," WTF THAT'S A WEREWOLF?! WHY DID YOU SPAWN ME NEAR A FUCKING WEREWOLF OIIII. SO IT WASN'T REALLY MY FAULT OIIIIIIII. "Oh, your running speed is marvelous!" Running speed? More like, I did the 'Rolling Girl'. Pfffft. "Hmm. I see." You see what? My pathetic form right now? That you have caused?
"Alright. Evaluations have been done. You're now officially a thief."
...
OI. NOBODY TOLD ME THAT RULE. NOBODY TOLD ME I'M BEING ACCESSED. WTF. I know I'm careless and I know I fucking ran from my first fucking battle but YOU WOULD RUN TOO AS YOU SAID! And I didn't even realized I had a sword- no. Even with a sword it's a FUCKING WEREWOLF! What is this logic?! It's like you just sent me to play uber guitar for UV3Rw0rld while I'm still a potato learning how-to-not-break-your-guitar-for-dummies! And what the hell is a heroine with the class of a thief?! What should I do, steal some rare items from Evangelion and negotiate with that monster? “Hey I stole your Shinji maybe you can stop destroying the world?” BULLSHIT!
AND WHO EVALUATED ME?! WHO SENT YOU HERE?!
"Remember, your actions are being closely watched. It seemed that you have entertained them enough and you received a few blessings from the gods," WTF. GODS?! YOU THINK THIS IS FUCKING FUNNY?! OIIIII.
"By the way, your first companion should be in contact with you..." ...vat. But I lost my orb? Wait. So no catching Pokemans? "Oh, your orb is not around? I see. So that's the way that it chose to lead you to your companions," ORB. YOU OK KAH?! WHY YOU CHOOSE THIS PATH. CAN YOU CHOOSE A NORMAL PATH?! THIS IS SUICIDE WEIH. FOR ME AND YOU BOTH WEIHHH.
"Alright, my time is up! Good luck in your quest heroine!" OI STOP. DON'T DISAPPEAR- dammit. She's gone, again! I swear, one day, I'm going to capture you in a magic cage and name you freaking Twinkle Bell and sing to you "Twinkle Bell~ Twinkle Bell~ Twinkle all the way" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Bell~ How I wonder where you are~" ALL. DAY. LONG. I will make puns on you, I will make puns on your family, and I will make puns on your bells-
*CLACK!*
WOAH?!
“Ah, you’re awake!” SCARE DIE ME. WHO ARE YOU- wait. That voice. So familiar…
…LEGASSSSPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT. THAT FACE. OI. YOU MAJI KA YO. That uke-ful kawaii face. That hair. That attire is another thing but THAT "CUTE" VOICE. That height and that aura!
KOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~~~
KOU. MAH BUDDY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE~~~ Did you save me? Did you got dragged into this “game” too?
“Thank god you’re safe! I was very worried when I saw you nearly DIED at the mountain end!” Ooooh! I see your ears now! They’re elf ears! I KNEW you will choose to be an elf-
…wait.
Choose?
KOU WHY YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR RACE BUT I CANNOT WHO GIVE YOU THAT PERMISSION-
“I’ve cooked you some mushrooms miss~” Miss? Oi Kou, you dunno my name or you purposely wanna tease me of my current state huh? "Let's eat!" I would love too! But as you can see I-
“Oi Kou, do you think she can eat when she’s all bandaged up like that?” Thank you~ And hello Kou’s little brother~ You came into this game too? You seemed so seme. Kek. As expected of Kou's lil' bro.
“…lol Kon. Sorry miss, lemme untie you from this prison,” Kou slowly took off the bandages off my body… finally I can move a little~
Wait.
Finally? Move a little?
"Gosh... they're so... tight!" Erm, the part that it sounded weird aside, who tied me like this?! No wonder I have pain all over my body... gosh! "Stupid sister... Hey Aki! Why'd you tie her up like this?!"
Ah. His voice changed. In case if you don’t know, previously he has been talking using his higher register. Now he’s using his deeper, manlier voice that’s different from his usual looks. What, you thought he’s a girl? Pffft. You dunno how many times people have been mistaken him for a “miss”. Kek.
"It's you who told me to do this, stupid brother!"
"Yes, Kou."
"...I... I panicked ok?! Gosh, you two..." Can't work under pressure? Sure this is Kou alright. "Yoshiotto... Hai! Dekita!" Ok, this IS Kou alright. Only he will use Hirasawa Yui's talking style...
"Mmmmm!" I stretched my body. It suuuuure felt much better this way! I AM... FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!! "Sankyu ne, Kou-chan!" I laughed and gave him a peace-sign... which he seemed to be dumbfounded by such approach. He blinked for a few times, took him some while to recover and gave me back the same sign.
Hmm? Why the delay...? Don't tell me...
"Domo! By the way, my full name is Hirasawa Kou!" Hirasawa--- WHAT?! Waitwaitwait. Isn't that...?! "This is my little brother Kon and my little sister Aki," Wait. I knew them already, so why is he introducing them to me again? So he really isn't the Kou I knew...? "Aki changed your clothes by the way, so don't you worry about that!"
"O-Ohhh..." I blinked. For a moment, I can't seemed to comprehend what's going on in front of me.
"So, what's your name?" He looked at me innocently. Really, he don't...? Fine.
“My name is, uh, Tai… Tainaka Rei! Yeah, my name is Tainaka Rei!” WHAT AM I DOING?! THIS MAKES ME ANOTHER K-ON-SURNAME-RIP-OFF CHARACTER OI. But since he’s doing it, me doing this should be alright, right…? "Thanks for saving my life! I owe you one!"
"Oh shush, it's no big deal!" Ah, his diva side. "After all, saving a person is a good deed, right?"
So... it's really Kou after all! But... This is like a parallel world? What, alternate universe? Uhhhhhh...my brain.
“Sounds like you almost forgot your name for a moment there!” He gave a semi-horrified look, but quickly reverted back to his usual smile. “I guess you really had a bad fall, eh?”
“Hahaha… You have nooooo idea…”
Yeah. And I don’t mean only from that mountain. I mean falling from my original world…
…into this world… Strange, yet, familiar world…
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Next Chapter Preview:
"MY BALL!!!" I suddenly exclaimed, remembering the most important thing that I became like... this. "I lost my ball!"
"Well... I sold *sob* your ball to the richest man in this city *sob* so that *sob* he won't bother me *sob* again...!" Uhuh... It seemed that there's some dramas going on here eh? I wonder how my ball is going to help him...
"I shall rip his balls out... and get my ball back!"
Next On: Part 2 - My Ball?! OAO
