"...I smiled as I can finally see you again. I can only see you when the night comes, and before I went to my dreams. I can't touch you, but I know you're here with me. You would smile back at me, and cradle me to sleep. You would sing me a lullaby, and pat my head.
You will always be here with me, even when the world crumbles.
There ARE times when you don't appear though, when my mind was too occupied with present things, and when I'm going through a huge emotional moment that I really need to be with myself. Still, you will be here if I wished you to be, for you to soothe me and tell me that everything will be alright.
Even though both of us knew that nothing can be alright.
I love you, from the bottom of my heart - because you know me the best, because you know how to calm me down, and... and because you're the best person in the world that won't judge me, and will give me the best advice.
Still.
I couldn't touch you no matter how much I wished for. And so these pillows and stuffed animals are the only substitution for me who yearned to touch you.
I can only hope that you will never go away, and forever stay by my side... but that would abstain me from the real world, right?
I smiled again. This time, I could taste the bitterness from my own forced smile. Again, I know I can't touch you, but I pretend that I could while caressing my little penguin. Should I wish you away? So that I can go back to my reality?
But... I couldn't.
For I love my own fantasy the most, even though most of my actual inspirations came from the reality part... fantasy is the one which keeps me going. I couldn't just wish you to go away, because you're my motivation.
Finally, I could feel that my conscious is fading away, and you're fading away too. Every night I wished that I could hold you a little longer, talk to you a little longer... but even I'm a slave to this weak thing called 'sleep'.
So good night, my fabricated reality.
May I see you again tomorrow night..."
~ "Fabricated Love"
